It could be me being the possessive bastard, but I feel that repression of a feel is danger to one’s own health. Could it be this adolescent nature of mine taking a culture shock into the adult world?
I wasn’t as happy as I was three years ago, I practically thought of it, the plan to escape from this world. For that time, I always wished that I was never me, and I was another person. I never wanted more but to break some glass and roll on it for eyes to ponder at, then maybe I was just a self-inflicting masochistl or a needy whore? Though all this feeling, I just hated to be in my own skin so much, but then I knew it wasn’t possible to switch places. The only way that I could break out of this flesh and bone, was for me to… but I never wanted to go against God’s word, though everyday, I kept finding his words a little hard to hear. In no time, I found my own words to abide from.
All in all, I’d keep trudging on through the years as I kept those plans at bay. Moving on, I soon found new meaning and understanding. The more that I had opened myself, the more I felt happy. I still had that bitter feeling on the inside, but just merely expressed it through ways that people that were meager and immature. I felt that as time went by, I grew stronger, and finally, I used that one feeling weighing me down, and now I can be at one’s own peace.
The multiple days I had come to enlightenment peace by peace, I knew that I was never wrong, but my answers were just for me, and no one else
It really is vain that the name "GOD" is so randomly used these days. I'm so miffed that people can just bluntly shout his name in public so energetically. At times though, that’s only when they forsake the term, but really, I’m more mad of people because they have their own word of what God says. I mean, is it possible that there can be more than one? I keep hearing people say that there is only ‘one true god,’ while others say there can be ten. Honestly, I don’t care as much now.
If there is truly one God, then why do his words have to be so twisted up and in so many manners? A word is a word, but words grow in part to create something bombastic that we all can’t help but try to follow and/or comprehend. Really though, isn’t the words of God to mean “Everyone should be happy with thy lives, and not care of which who says nigh?”
One says this about God, another says a different meaning of God, and soon, his name is so spread out that we can’t help but try and follow the most comforting clique that may not damn us for Hell in an instant. In my opinion, I feel God to just be that original role model to teach us that there can be good in different ways in our preferred lifestyles.
A religions set of rules may say one thing to be holy, yet another could say that act to be actually be sinful in their views. We all keep screeching and hissing to say what is “Holier then thou” in this one big blue world we all live in, but we all try and follow one goal in our lives, “We just want to be loved.”
Who cares if they false one small commandment, or end up eating that piece of stolen bread; God forgives, right? I mean, the whole meaning of confessions is to admit crimes that have been done, and hope that God will forgive, while others seem to feel that they shall be smite with a power from up above in that millisecond.
Though, all us living, unless that eminent presence is ever to come down during this lifetime, then none of us really know what is right and what is wrong. All we can do is try and make life a bit better for all of us to bask in, till that faithful day that we finally see the truth
NOTE: This is the first of my SuperSafe68 reposts, expect more throughout the month or so as I transfer most of my favorite posts from there
I've always longed to feel that special flare in my life - as though my life isn't special on it's own. Who dosen't want to feel loved or noticed?
I'm always a bit of a loner on my own, but I feel the need to be with another. I may not show it, but I care for others around me. Maybe that's why I can find comfort in talking to strangers at the busstop everyday.
May I feel lonely in a real or fictional version of myself, I'll still feel the need for another to hold onto.
Please, I may want to be alone at times, but I do not wish to be alone Forever.
Please, just hold me once to make me feel like you care.
Please, just hold my hand to make me feel like you want to be with me.
Please, just kiss me to know that I am loved...
PS: I will also be reposting SS68 posts on my Blogger page, but only on that page will I also start reposting my old posts sometime later before I even dish out any neu weblogs, so please settle for some leftovers
Almost annual like spring cleaning - except I got that out of the way back in December - I think I post best during the spring time if not when I become more active, sort of like how bears sleep in a dark grungy cave till they wake up to the smell of their own filth
That's pretty much been my base of operations till classes started again not too long ago. Binging around YouTube videos and ordering a shit load of stuff from eBay since my casino winnings. I've been pretty content for most of my break since I was financially okay at the moment from panning to get a job again.
Anyway, I have been writing blog posts for the last month with my other writing stuffs, and I haven't been posting them I use to post them right on the spot, but I think I'd rather wait for a time when it feels like I should. Posting too much can be like eating a ton of cookies per week. Except on getting hit by diabetes, I get hit with carpal tunnel. So aside from running dry in the "Imagination Tank" there are health reasons too.
For the reason why I could have been more active online yet not, was me actually having a life since I could drive anywhere Having a still-fresh license in your pocket is like having a fresh license to kill (though not as cool). Driving up from Carmel to around Gilroy was awesome, and I found things I could have never found with my family or friends - well, probably with my friends if they were all high enough. I enjoyed lots of things, no pictures to show, yet a CK shirt I got on 70% clearance from their personal brand store in the Premium Outlets
In ways like how studios do TV seasons/series, I'll probably start posting my fresh blogs later in the season, whilst doing a mob of reruns on here and my terrestrial blog. I think I'd prefer doing this that way most people who actually read me will know that I am not dead, but more on break and producing more material. It kind of helps keep your brain not out of whack. Like how education gives you a week off or your job gives you personal days, I need personal days not to feel as if I'm prisoned up in my godforsaken room - okay, I have a few postcards from my viewing of the Antichrist from last November, bath my walls with holy water if you want - and go out and feel some fresh air.
"Can't keep smelling the bleach all through summer"
Okay, noaw for a preview on my upcoming YouTube video
If I have to get tired about one thing, it's the ignorance of some parental units. Another article detailing a murder that is somehow fueled by watching a horror flick as well as the article above mentioning that the kid was watching porn is what makes me go WTFF? (what the flying fuck?) It is also the same type of people who keeps on saying to 'beef-up' the MPAA or BBFC systems to make sure their angels are not watching this so-called tripe.
You know what? F*CK YOU!
You know, it's not what the TV or the music is telling them to do, it's what the parents are fueling them to want to do this kind of shtick. I mean, if you've read more in this article, it also states the condition of their home and the things on how the two brother's parents parent. You know the old sayings "Like father, like son" and "From mother to daughter." Well, there's a wonder why these two boys decided to torture and sexually humiliate two other boys. I mean, so there are some places who wouldn't mind selling some kids R-rated films - I am guilty of that act, but hell, I haven't warrented a death sentence But the porn... aside from the internet, let alone, they were still watching porn. How did they get porn, and how did the parents never catch up to this? I would have assumed they 'd seen the countless DVDs unless they were burnt discs with splochy markered labeling.
Now, the next time you ever have a PTA meeting, and you hear another parent say that they blame a film portraying two gay cowboys that ended up making her son gay, then please don't hold back to say the lord's name in vain
"Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?" - Bender of Futurama
I use to post them right on the spot, but I think I'd rather wait for a time when it feels like I should. Posting too much can be like eating a ton of cookies per week. Except on getting hit by diabetes, I get hit with carpal tunnel. So aside from running dry in the "Imagination Tank" there are health reasons too.
Having a still-fresh license in your pocket is like having a fresh license to kill (though not as cool). Driving up from Carmel to around Gilroy was awesome, and I found things I could have never found with my family or friends - well, probably with my friends if they were all high enough. I enjoyed lots of things, no pictures to show, yet a CK shirt I got on 70% clearance from their personal brand store in the Premium Outlets 
- and go out and feel some fresh air.
